The Right Way to Introduce Kink into Your Relationship

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The movie- fifty shades of grey has not only brought kink or BDSM to the spotlight but also made a lot of people become interested in the practice. So you are one of these people, read on.

While reading about kink and talking about it might be easy, introducing it into a relationship is somewhat difficult. And the reason why is that we live in a society where people are taught that their desires are degrading and should be bottled up. This has made it difficult for a couple to talk about kink stuff, even if they are interested in it or want to try it out.

As you probably know, kink can rejuvenate a relationship and make things more exciting for a change. So, in this article, we are going to be looking at the right way to introduce kink into a relationship.

Communicate

It’s no news that trust and communication are the most important parts of relationship maintenance. Before introducing kink to your relationship, it is important that you first establish a healthy communication channel. It should be easy for you to talk to your partner about anything. The trust and respect you have for each other is what is ultimately going to make your relationship stronger.

One of the biggest challenges you are going to encounter when introducing kink into your relationship is getting over the social stigma associated with it. Most people look at BDSM as something other people do. They never see themselves doing it. The idea that good people stick to regular sexual practice is now prevalent. On the other hand, kinky sex and BDSM is seen as dangerous or morally unacceptable.

But the truth is that kink is not something you should be ashamed about, rather it is something you should embrace with open arms, without any fear.

When kink is done correctly, it can bring more excitement and fun to a relationship. Also, it can help revitalize the fading connection between couples and inject their union with excitement. Even more, it also helps to strengthen the trust and communication between partners, while given them to opportunity connect with each other sexually at a whole new level. Keep in mind that strong sexual satisfaction is the key to a long-term relationship.

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Don’t let fear hold you back

Moments before telling your partner about your desire to introduce kink into your relationship, you may get cold feet or afraid. And this is because admitting to your desires will make you vulnerable to judgment by your partner. Expressing an interest in kink has always been intimidating and will continue to be, even for people in a long-term relationship.

That said, you need to keep it at the back of your mind that your partner is not a mind reader. So, you can’t expect him or her to magically know what is going on in your mind. You will have to summon up courage and tell him or her about it.

To get the answer that you want, you have to tell your partner about it the right way. Bringing up the matter before or after sex is not really a good idea because it may make your partner feel uneasy or ambushed.

Don’t put your partner in a position where he can say yes or no; his or her answer is likely going to be No! (You don’t want that)

To increase the odds of your partner saying yes, you have to pick a good time when both of you are relaxed and calm. Don’t bring up the subject like this- I saw this thing online or I know someone who, or I heard about. Avoid these lines like the plague. You see, when you use them, your partner may out-rightly reject the idea without knowing that it is important to you.

Instead, mention that there is something you are interested in or that bring you pleasure and you want to try it with your partner. Don’t say it like you are revealing a dark secret, rather talk about it like you are unveiling a fun and exciting way to take your sexual experience to the next level. Your partner is likely going to see it in a positive light if you are able to do this.

After you have aired your desire, your partner may have a thing or two to say. Listen to what they carefully even if it is negative. If they have questions or concerns, lay the answer to them in a nice way.

If you can’t do this face to face with your partner, then you can do it via email or text messages. This may make it easier for you to air out what you really want without any pressure.

As you are sharing your interest, encourage your partner to share their deep and dark fantasies as well. Trading fantasies can foster new levels of intimacy, openness, and courage to try new things.

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Keep in mind that communication doesn’t end the moment you and your partner agree to try BDSM. It is important that you check up on your partner before, during and after the practice. Having a good talk with your partner after a session is not only satisfying but is also going to make your relationship become stronger.

Do research

The importance of doing deep and detailed research before trying out kink cannot be overemphasized. Most people introduce kink into their relationship without getting a clear picture of what it is really about. Their knowledge is based on what they’ve watched in porn tubes and in movies. Things that work perfectly in movies don’t always do in real life.

A good example is the fifty shades of grey movie. Using the movie as a guide to BDSM is not really a good idea because of the following reasons.

  • It is not for beginners.
  • The moves performed in the movie can cause serious damage if not done correctly. For example, the cable rope that Christian Grey used can stop blood circulation or result in a serious cut.

Take things slow

Don’t rush to the advance stuff moments after starting the practice. Since you and your partner are new to it, it is best you take baby steps and work your way up as time goes on.

Don’t try too hard to be perfect

Since you are new to BDSM, you are going to make some laughable mistakes at first. Your goal shouldn’t be to do things perfectly; rather it should be to bring your fantasies to life.

 

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